Healing
I just read the most recent post on Snicks' blog. Unfortunately her husband has passed away.
My heart goes out to her and her family.
After my father passed away I went for grief counseling. Its not something that helps everyone but it definitely helped me. In one of our sessions, about 6 months after my dad had passed away, my counselor was trying to explain grief and the grieving process. This is what she said...
When grief is fresh it is as if we have a huge hole in our lives, the person we have lost is gone, they have left an empty space. At this point most people will tell you that the hole will get smaller, the grief will go away with time, thats just not true. The hole never gets filled up, the grief doesn't go away. But something else happens, our lives continue to grow. The hole may not get smaller but our lives get bigger. It doesn't make it hurt any less but we learn how to cope with it. We learn how to live again! (She even had a diagram to explain it, which I have attempted to replicate below).
This explanation of grief really touched something inside me, I think it was then that I truly started to feel better, I started to live again.
It may have no meaning or relevance to anyone else, but it helped me and I hope it helps others too.
Comments
After I lost him, I was so scared I would be this sad, broken, empty person, forever. I felt broken. Less. And then a friend said to me that Ben, and his loss, made me more than I ever was before. Even the grief, it made me more. And that helped me.
It would never be as it was before. I could never go back to being the same person (and there is grieving to be done for that, for losing a sense of one's self, of who one was before), but instead of being Tertia minus, I could be Tertia plus. A softer, better, more improved Tertia.
Still. Its very early days for Snick, and she has to go through all those horrible stages and phases of grief, but unfortunately, no matter how hard to try, there is no way around grief, there is only through it.
All we can do is hope her journey through it is not too horrible.
xxx
So so true!!
My heart is crying for her. Our prayers are with her.